Intimacy.
The most beautiful and profound means of self expression toward one another in a loving union. Now I know there are a lot of ways for individuals to express themselves; art, music, painting, writing, just to name a few. But what a most special gift God The Father gave to couples.
I especially love how in the above scripture it says: The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife... Too often sex is geared toward the pleasuring of the man. Science does tell us that a mans libido is by far more active than the average woman's, but let's look at the woman's desires a little more closely. Where men are mostly visual, women are emotional. We want to hear all of the right things, we want our husbands to take time in showing our body parts they truly are loved. We crave attention. For the husbands that already knew that, GOOD FOR YOU! For the ones who don't, ladies, we have to let them know. Men are not mind readers. We can rationalize that: by now they should know! Or: that if they really were in tune with us they would pick up our vibes. But you know, who has time for that. Let's stop and think for a minute that God made men the exact opposite of us. And I truly believe and have actually learned that men are teachable. The shutting down of their brain happens when we nag. But when we communicate in a fair, calm manner, we can get big results. I understand that some women say they just don't have the desire or the energy and what I would say to that is this: Beware.
Scripture tells us that we should come together with our spouses lest we be tempted by satan! Okay, I don't know about you, but I really don't need any other reason than that one right there! We were made to be together. We were made one flesh when we voiced our marriage vows. It is a good and strengthening act for the married couple. I also find that being intimate helps me to feel better connected to my other half. I am more patient with him, more forgiving of him, more playful, more at ease. I am more confident and so is he.
It is a fact that couples who give their relationship special care in this area are closer friends and have better lines of communication with one another. I once read in an article that if you're tired to still just do it. Chances were you would not regret it. I've chosen to take that piece of advice (especially now being a mom of three). I'm tired, he's tired, but glory to God who renews us and who delights in our coming together. Now that my relationship with God is growing and I am being more submissive to my husband (one day at a time, but focused on the goal), I am realizing that while that article might have helped me then, my relationship calls for more than: just do it. Husbands need to feel loved too. not just an afterthought. We were made to revel in our differences. Exploring and dazzling each other.
It's so awesome to me how what used to seem so difficult for me to grasp is now so magnificent for me to accept . Take the fact that our bodies no longer belong to us, but to our spouses. That is something I never would have been able to succumb to, but now it's delicate fact is the most intriguing and alluring truth to me. God says the only reason we are able to call a time out in our sex lives is to pray. So let it be so. If the all knowing, wise God whom we trust says that we are to fulfill each other in holy matrimony, then let us obey scripture. Let us be blessed and better united with our loves. Better connected spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and last but most certainly not least, physically.
Be Creative, Be Explorative, Be Fun, Be Intimate........
Comfort and Encouragement Always..........
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; - Proverbs 27:15
Nagging....
I think it's safe to say to we've all done it. Even the most agreeable of women have. We may not all be nags, but I know when it comes to me, it's really not hard for me to voice my opinion. And here's where I think a great point lies. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Not long ago I was doing laundry, using a broken laundry basket. My husband met me at the bottom of the stairs to take the basket from me. Wisps of hair sticking to my slightly sweating face I humbly asked, can I buy a new basket? He was so touched by my demeanor and choice of words. I normally would have just TOLD him that I needed a new basket, or actually just went and bought one, but glory to God for his wonderful convictions!! Now am I able to bless my husband with my humility and submission. God is truly doing a work in me!
The laundry basket story may not be the perfect example, but I wanted to share =).
Wow, so this scripture says: A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. We just bought a new faucet because the one in my kitchen was broken and constantly dripping. I'll use this example because when it rains we actually can't hear the drops hitting my roof. Boy oh boy was that faucet a nuisance!! Everyone that visited during the reign of the leaking faucet was bothered by its noise. I somehow became immune to the noise, but what bothered me was that I had to keep a towel wrapped around the neck of the faucet to prevent getting sprayed every time I turned it on. A real pain it was. So my husband was bothered most by the dripping and I was bothered most by its cause. Go figure!
When I think of the times that I have been argumentative, I can honestly say that there were other things at work in me; causing me to be unthoughtful and nasty. My husband heard the nagging, but I felt the pain inside of myself from the things that were causing the nagging. I was broken, leaking, dripping with insecurities. When I allowed God into the dark places of my mind and heart, He was able to shed His light and heal me, restore me. He is taking all of the brokenness and making it whole. All of the sorrow and turning it into joy. All of the insecurity and turning it into confidence. I was made with a purpose (as were you) and understanding this truth is taking me to a new place with Him and with myself first so that I can be a happy healthy woman capable of serving my husband and mothering my children; free from nagging. I've noticed that when I insult my husband, he shuts down. If I begin to make him feel inadequate with my complaints he will not be in a good state of mind to hear or evaluate what I am saying. I'm actually working against myself. Men respond to praise and a woman who understands that, understands a lot.
If you have not addressed past hurts or you are struggling with self image issues or you are in any kind of disagreement with yourself, deal with it. Because you will never be free from the nagging in your heart. Never mind you nagging your husband, you will always be tormented within yourself. And please remember Jesus loves you and He's available to you! HE IS YOUR HELPER!! 'Do not fear, for I am with you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10
Nagging is ugly and mean and us women need to be healed of the urge to depreciate ourselves in this manner. Now I know that there are husbands who are truly challenging and some that are down right nuts (and so are some wives)! But we have to remember that our health, our sound mind comes from the Lord. We can be a beacon of light in an otherwise dark situation. Shedding the light of Christ for our husbands to be inspired by. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. - 1 Peter 3:1-2 I personally did not wait for my husband to stop doing things that would make me nag. I stopped nagging first (though that does not mean that I will never complain again nor that my husband will be blameless). We are human, we will mess up and we will get upset, but let us respect each other in the way we react to one another. Dare we change to be more like the God in whose image we were made? And how do we open the door to change? By being naked and vulnerable before God. Openly revealing ourselves. Even though we know He knows all we can still sometimes hide ourselves and in doing so, we block our blessings. Open up Gods Word, lift your arms in praise, come to Him in prayer. Seek Him in all you do and His glory will reveal itself. Hallelujah!!! Let us lift our husbands up with words that encourage, up lift and inspire. Let us remember that we make impressions on them and our behavior can affect the way they respond to us. We can actually affect their very well being. Plug into God and let Him lead you to a place of wisdom, humility, and power. Let us bless them. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 That you and your spouse may soar above worldly pettiness and into magnificent blessedness.
No Nagging..........
Comfort and Encouragement Always..........
I think it's safe to say to we've all done it. Even the most agreeable of women have. We may not all be nags, but I know when it comes to me, it's really not hard for me to voice my opinion. And here's where I think a great point lies. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Not long ago I was doing laundry, using a broken laundry basket. My husband met me at the bottom of the stairs to take the basket from me. Wisps of hair sticking to my slightly sweating face I humbly asked, can I buy a new basket? He was so touched by my demeanor and choice of words. I normally would have just TOLD him that I needed a new basket, or actually just went and bought one, but glory to God for his wonderful convictions!! Now am I able to bless my husband with my humility and submission. God is truly doing a work in me!
The laundry basket story may not be the perfect example, but I wanted to share =).
Wow, so this scripture says: A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. We just bought a new faucet because the one in my kitchen was broken and constantly dripping. I'll use this example because when it rains we actually can't hear the drops hitting my roof. Boy oh boy was that faucet a nuisance!! Everyone that visited during the reign of the leaking faucet was bothered by its noise. I somehow became immune to the noise, but what bothered me was that I had to keep a towel wrapped around the neck of the faucet to prevent getting sprayed every time I turned it on. A real pain it was. So my husband was bothered most by the dripping and I was bothered most by its cause. Go figure!
When I think of the times that I have been argumentative, I can honestly say that there were other things at work in me; causing me to be unthoughtful and nasty. My husband heard the nagging, but I felt the pain inside of myself from the things that were causing the nagging. I was broken, leaking, dripping with insecurities. When I allowed God into the dark places of my mind and heart, He was able to shed His light and heal me, restore me. He is taking all of the brokenness and making it whole. All of the sorrow and turning it into joy. All of the insecurity and turning it into confidence. I was made with a purpose (as were you) and understanding this truth is taking me to a new place with Him and with myself first so that I can be a happy healthy woman capable of serving my husband and mothering my children; free from nagging. I've noticed that when I insult my husband, he shuts down. If I begin to make him feel inadequate with my complaints he will not be in a good state of mind to hear or evaluate what I am saying. I'm actually working against myself. Men respond to praise and a woman who understands that, understands a lot.
If you have not addressed past hurts or you are struggling with self image issues or you are in any kind of disagreement with yourself, deal with it. Because you will never be free from the nagging in your heart. Never mind you nagging your husband, you will always be tormented within yourself. And please remember Jesus loves you and He's available to you! HE IS YOUR HELPER!! 'Do not fear, for I am with you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10
Nagging is ugly and mean and us women need to be healed of the urge to depreciate ourselves in this manner. Now I know that there are husbands who are truly challenging and some that are down right nuts (and so are some wives)! But we have to remember that our health, our sound mind comes from the Lord. We can be a beacon of light in an otherwise dark situation. Shedding the light of Christ for our husbands to be inspired by. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. - 1 Peter 3:1-2 I personally did not wait for my husband to stop doing things that would make me nag. I stopped nagging first (though that does not mean that I will never complain again nor that my husband will be blameless). We are human, we will mess up and we will get upset, but let us respect each other in the way we react to one another. Dare we change to be more like the God in whose image we were made? And how do we open the door to change? By being naked and vulnerable before God. Openly revealing ourselves. Even though we know He knows all we can still sometimes hide ourselves and in doing so, we block our blessings. Open up Gods Word, lift your arms in praise, come to Him in prayer. Seek Him in all you do and His glory will reveal itself. Hallelujah!!! Let us lift our husbands up with words that encourage, up lift and inspire. Let us remember that we make impressions on them and our behavior can affect the way they respond to us. We can actually affect their very well being. Plug into God and let Him lead you to a place of wisdom, humility, and power. Let us bless them. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12 That you and your spouse may soar above worldly pettiness and into magnificent blessedness.
No Nagging..........
Comfort and Encouragement Always..........
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.- Ephesians 5:22-24
Okay, this by far is the most challenging of them all!! But I cannot be a cafeteria christian (as one of my dear friends calls it), picking and choosing which scriptures I will obey. I am a follower of Christ, I believe the Bible to be a true, living work, and so I must obey.
You know God really had mercy on me these nine years that I've been married to my husband. I haven't had a strong conviction about this subject, but the gig is up. I'm now called to submit (or I now choose to hear the voice inside of me saying: you know things can be a lot better if you submit). Things are not bad (at all), but God says they can be even better. Ultimately, I know that if God is instructing me this way then it is for my good. Oh but that doesn't really make it any easier for me. Don't judge me. I could lie and attempt to sound super holy, but I'd only be kidding myself. The whole purpose of coming out in the open with my thoughts and goals is to no longer deny that what I find to be the truth; without denial, there is room for growth and change.
So, the reasons I should submit again? What does it even mean to submit? I have looked up this subject relentlessly. Searching for some loop hole that indicates: Indeed women don't really have to submit, they only have to respect. I haven't found that loop hole (hellooo Tanya it's the bible! There are no loop holes), but what I found was this. Submitting does not equal weak, it does not equal lesser, and it most certainly does not equal doormat!
In the scripture it says: Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Wow! Is there actually a comparison being made between my relationship with my husband and Jesus with the church?! Now this I know and it's not hard at all for me to accept: We, the members of the church submit to Jesus because we trust Him. We know He will do us no harm. We know that God gave His Son to us as a gift. Now I'm in a comparison kind of mind frame. My husband is also a gift. Someone given to me to weather the storms and heat waves of life with. Could it be that my husbands rule over me has nothing to do with power, but with protection? I'm starting to believe so. If I am in my marriage, and I believe that all things happen for a reason, that there is a plan and a purpose, shouldn't I believe that God is doing something good by urging me to obey His spirit? Scripture also says that God is our protector and that He shall fight our battles against those who do us wrong. Don't I believe Him?
Let's look at this totally different. From a scientific perspective, if you will. Men have a need. It is a fact that men desire to be respected more than desire to be loved. It is the way they were made. Apparently in accordance with scripture. Years ago I actually used to use my powers of seemingly being submissive as a way to rule (honey this was years ago!!!) And why did I manipulate in this way? Because it worked! When my husbands self esteem was elevated by my cooperation, he was a lot more agreeable. I now know to manipulate is to lose in the end, and that there is no glory to my Lord to behave like such, but it took me a long while to learn that. Submitting with humility brings peace to a home. In fact one of Gods greatest promises is a peace that surpasses all understanding. How can I reap these wonderful promises if I don't submit to Gods will? After all, isn't it really God that I am submitting to, His will for my marriage. He created the institution of marriage; He made us and knows exactly in which position we will be most successful in. In fact if we take a look at Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis we see that when women take control of things it is a disaster! This particular example speaks directly to me because my husband reminds me of Adam in this way. If I told my husband to do something, he would do it. He trusts me, he loves me. In his love for me he would succumb to my wishes and I would drag us right down the drain. I'm not saying I am not capable of making good decisions, but as I evaluate the dynamics of our gender I must say I do make emotional decisions. Oh goodness, am I starting to see that my husband is actually a better decision maker than I am? Oh, he's going to love me for this! Ha! Actually, submitting to a laid back man may be even more challenging. Especially for an aggressive woman like me, but the same way that I am called to submit to my husband without relinquishing my dignity, so my husband was crafted to be a calm, easy soul without relinquishing his power. Wow, glory to God I am really starting to see this differently!
God promises life abundantly and that is exactly what I am seeking. More of His Spirit, less of my flesh. It is not easy, but encouragement is mine as The wonderful God of all things ushers me into this new phase of my marriage and in my walk with Him. Gone are the days of saying that I am christian and doing what pleases myself. And I am not weaker, nor am I lesser for submitting to my husband. In fact, dare I say I am wiser. Christ was called to submit to the will of The Father, and Christ is not any less than The Father! If Christ submitted until His last dying day (and His cup was as bitter as they come) I can most certainly submit to my husband. May God be glorified as I step back and surrender my needs to be the head. I am the body; may I see the beauty and strength in that truth every single day. If God says it is to be so, then that is it. I choose to not intellectualize this. I know the dynamics of my relationship are going to change for the better and I trust my Lord with His instruction because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!
Be strong in your position........
Comfort and Encouragement Always...........
You know God really had mercy on me these nine years that I've been married to my husband. I haven't had a strong conviction about this subject, but the gig is up. I'm now called to submit (or I now choose to hear the voice inside of me saying: you know things can be a lot better if you submit). Things are not bad (at all), but God says they can be even better. Ultimately, I know that if God is instructing me this way then it is for my good. Oh but that doesn't really make it any easier for me. Don't judge me. I could lie and attempt to sound super holy, but I'd only be kidding myself. The whole purpose of coming out in the open with my thoughts and goals is to no longer deny that what I find to be the truth; without denial, there is room for growth and change.
So, the reasons I should submit again? What does it even mean to submit? I have looked up this subject relentlessly. Searching for some loop hole that indicates: Indeed women don't really have to submit, they only have to respect. I haven't found that loop hole (hellooo Tanya it's the bible! There are no loop holes), but what I found was this. Submitting does not equal weak, it does not equal lesser, and it most certainly does not equal doormat!
In the scripture it says: Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Wow! Is there actually a comparison being made between my relationship with my husband and Jesus with the church?! Now this I know and it's not hard at all for me to accept: We, the members of the church submit to Jesus because we trust Him. We know He will do us no harm. We know that God gave His Son to us as a gift. Now I'm in a comparison kind of mind frame. My husband is also a gift. Someone given to me to weather the storms and heat waves of life with. Could it be that my husbands rule over me has nothing to do with power, but with protection? I'm starting to believe so. If I am in my marriage, and I believe that all things happen for a reason, that there is a plan and a purpose, shouldn't I believe that God is doing something good by urging me to obey His spirit? Scripture also says that God is our protector and that He shall fight our battles against those who do us wrong. Don't I believe Him?
Let's look at this totally different. From a scientific perspective, if you will. Men have a need. It is a fact that men desire to be respected more than desire to be loved. It is the way they were made. Apparently in accordance with scripture. Years ago I actually used to use my powers of seemingly being submissive as a way to rule (honey this was years ago!!!) And why did I manipulate in this way? Because it worked! When my husbands self esteem was elevated by my cooperation, he was a lot more agreeable. I now know to manipulate is to lose in the end, and that there is no glory to my Lord to behave like such, but it took me a long while to learn that. Submitting with humility brings peace to a home. In fact one of Gods greatest promises is a peace that surpasses all understanding. How can I reap these wonderful promises if I don't submit to Gods will? After all, isn't it really God that I am submitting to, His will for my marriage. He created the institution of marriage; He made us and knows exactly in which position we will be most successful in. In fact if we take a look at Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis we see that when women take control of things it is a disaster! This particular example speaks directly to me because my husband reminds me of Adam in this way. If I told my husband to do something, he would do it. He trusts me, he loves me. In his love for me he would succumb to my wishes and I would drag us right down the drain. I'm not saying I am not capable of making good decisions, but as I evaluate the dynamics of our gender I must say I do make emotional decisions. Oh goodness, am I starting to see that my husband is actually a better decision maker than I am? Oh, he's going to love me for this! Ha! Actually, submitting to a laid back man may be even more challenging. Especially for an aggressive woman like me, but the same way that I am called to submit to my husband without relinquishing my dignity, so my husband was crafted to be a calm, easy soul without relinquishing his power. Wow, glory to God I am really starting to see this differently!
God promises life abundantly and that is exactly what I am seeking. More of His Spirit, less of my flesh. It is not easy, but encouragement is mine as The wonderful God of all things ushers me into this new phase of my marriage and in my walk with Him. Gone are the days of saying that I am christian and doing what pleases myself. And I am not weaker, nor am I lesser for submitting to my husband. In fact, dare I say I am wiser. Christ was called to submit to the will of The Father, and Christ is not any less than The Father! If Christ submitted until His last dying day (and His cup was as bitter as they come) I can most certainly submit to my husband. May God be glorified as I step back and surrender my needs to be the head. I am the body; may I see the beauty and strength in that truth every single day. If God says it is to be so, then that is it. I choose to not intellectualize this. I know the dynamics of my relationship are going to change for the better and I trust my Lord with His instruction because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!
Be strong in your position........
Comfort and Encouragement Always...........
Thursday, April 21, 2011
....An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 1Corinthians 7:34
It is strongly on my heart to add this post in regards to my last one. I spoke last about clinging to God and working on ourselves as women. Empowering ourselves to a place of comfort so that we may give freely to our husbands, blessing them and encouraging them.
I wanted to add that I acknowledge that my duty is to my husband. I am concerned with him and with pleasing him all the days of my life. It is my belief that God intended women and men to cleave to each other, pushing through hard times and honoring one another at all times. I am also human and very very far from perfect (well actually I will never be perfect, as you know!). Husbands can be very challenging, but in honor of my husband you will never hear me insulting him (besides the occasional harmless joke). This is about the way I can exude Gods love so that I am at a better place with all those in my life.
I am on a journey. Some things I will share and other things will be too intimate between the Lord and I to divulge. I am by no means an expert. I am merely attempting to become a better human being for myself, my husband, my children, and for all other people that will come into contact with me. Writing about my experiences and findings is helping to keep me accountable and growing me in a new way. God will correct me and I will always be a work in progress.
I love God, I love my family; and my Creator happened to make me the type of person that actually loves strangers too. I love people. I have a heart for people and yearn for a place where women uplift each other and reap what was intended for them; a wonderful life.
Comfort and Encouragement Always......
I wanted to add that I acknowledge that my duty is to my husband. I am concerned with him and with pleasing him all the days of my life. It is my belief that God intended women and men to cleave to each other, pushing through hard times and honoring one another at all times. I am also human and very very far from perfect (well actually I will never be perfect, as you know!). Husbands can be very challenging, but in honor of my husband you will never hear me insulting him (besides the occasional harmless joke). This is about the way I can exude Gods love so that I am at a better place with all those in my life.
I am on a journey. Some things I will share and other things will be too intimate between the Lord and I to divulge. I am by no means an expert. I am merely attempting to become a better human being for myself, my husband, my children, and for all other people that will come into contact with me. Writing about my experiences and findings is helping to keep me accountable and growing me in a new way. God will correct me and I will always be a work in progress.
I love God, I love my family; and my Creator happened to make me the type of person that actually loves strangers too. I love people. I have a heart for people and yearn for a place where women uplift each other and reap what was intended for them; a wonderful life.
Comfort and Encouragement Always......
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. Proverbs 31:12
What a beautiful scripture! I am moved by these words.
Well, I have to ask: Do I comfort, encourage, and do my husband good every single day? Uuuummm.. Let's just say this: I try. Now I could get into all of the ways he sometimes gets in his own way of that happening, but I won't do that. I'm just going to keep the focus on me. Because after all, I could use some shaping up myself. Right now God is working on me; He didn't say to me: Tanya, go work on others. He has called me to find Him in a new way and has allowed me to share.
Am I happy? Even deeper: Am I joyful? This question that I have posed to myself has nothing to do with my outside surroundings. It has nothing to do with my children, my husband, my house, the car that I drive. It is a question of whether or not I am satisfied with myself.
When my daughter Asia brings home her report card I am so proud to see that it is a perfect one, but if the time comes that her report has some b's or c's this is what I am going to observe: Did she give that semester her all? If she did then I have to accept her efforts (if she was clowning around that is another topic). So this is what I ask myself: Did I give it my all? Give what my all? Nurturing myself. Abiding in God who renews and refreshes me. I cannot give and give and give without replenishment.
In the scripture above it says: As long as there is life within her. This scripture comes from the chapter "A Virtuous Wife". This woman is energetic, creative, innovative. Blessing her household with the works of her hands and her relationship with God. I believe that God in us gives us life; life like we've never known and in turn we are able to give and serve others from a wellspring of life. We tire, but do not get run down. We disagree, but we are slow to anger. We are more at ease because we have taken time to take care of ourselves, and nurture the Being in whose likeness we were made.
First and foremost is a relationship with our creator. Abiding in Him, realizing His very availability. God is not an unattainable deity. He is available, willing, and actually longs to dwell with us.
Secondly, I believe we should look inwardly, acknowledging our deepest desires and then working toward those things we want to become, we want to do, we want to achieve. If we are dwelling with God then our desires should line up with His will for us. If there is any mix up, the Spirit will let us know and guide us. Sometimes closing a door and opening a window. When we see how He moves on our behalf, it strengthens us, our faith and our walk with Him. When things don't work out the way we planned, let us be encouraged that He is concerned with those things that have to do with us and will never ever forsake us.
Now, to me there are two types of goals when I am trying to nurture the woman that I am. There are those things I want to do to reach a bigger picture goal. For instance, I want to be physically fit so I should exercise. I can see my new body in my mind and I do believe that aligns with Gods will for my life. Do I love to work out? Not really. I don't hate it either. I enjoy walking and stretching, and if shopping counts for cardio, I'm in! But still I do want the results, and there is no way to get those results if I don't put in the work. I am now exploring different ways to work on my body because I believe if I enjoy the exercise, well, then I'll do it. There are things that some people feel like: if I could just learn to do that or be that way then I will be happier. I say, go for it. If being a good cook will add to your self-esteem, go for it! If there is an attribute, a skill that you would like to attain because you think it is going to contribute to the person you see in your minds eye, go for it! The more challenging it is, the more fulfilling it just may be. Remember, be easy on yourself and practice that what you want to become.
Then there are the things that I just love to do! Pure enjoyment. The challenge with this one is that as moms, as wives, sometimes we feel like: how can I be doing this right now? I don't have time for this. Yes you do! The more I abide with God, the more I am humbled and happy to serve my family, then when the time comes for me to water my self, I do it guilt free because I've done my very best for my family. Why wouldn't it be okay for me to spend time with myself? This is all new for me. I have been giving and giving to come to a point of exhaustion. Now because of spending time with God and nurturing myself I do more and stress less. And it's all guilt free.
If I am alive, I will be able to comfort, encourage, and do my husband good every single day; that does not mean there won't be challenges (but that's another topic). If I am sad, depressed, stressed, unfulfilled, my husband will not be happy with me. Though it may still be my duty to be all those things for him, I will do them bitterly and possibly become resentful. Oh but God!!! He is a life changer!! Nothing or no one can ever take His place! Let us seek Him to come to a new place with ourselves and be the wives we are meant to be. Doing our husbands good, blessing them, and cheering them on.
Join me next time while I explore practical ways to Not change our husbands (because that can't be done), but to change the way they respond to us.
Comfort and Encouragement Always.....
Am I happy? Even deeper: Am I joyful? This question that I have posed to myself has nothing to do with my outside surroundings. It has nothing to do with my children, my husband, my house, the car that I drive. It is a question of whether or not I am satisfied with myself.
When my daughter Asia brings home her report card I am so proud to see that it is a perfect one, but if the time comes that her report has some b's or c's this is what I am going to observe: Did she give that semester her all? If she did then I have to accept her efforts (if she was clowning around that is another topic). So this is what I ask myself: Did I give it my all? Give what my all? Nurturing myself. Abiding in God who renews and refreshes me. I cannot give and give and give without replenishment.
In the scripture above it says: As long as there is life within her. This scripture comes from the chapter "A Virtuous Wife". This woman is energetic, creative, innovative. Blessing her household with the works of her hands and her relationship with God. I believe that God in us gives us life; life like we've never known and in turn we are able to give and serve others from a wellspring of life. We tire, but do not get run down. We disagree, but we are slow to anger. We are more at ease because we have taken time to take care of ourselves, and nurture the Being in whose likeness we were made.
First and foremost is a relationship with our creator. Abiding in Him, realizing His very availability. God is not an unattainable deity. He is available, willing, and actually longs to dwell with us.
Secondly, I believe we should look inwardly, acknowledging our deepest desires and then working toward those things we want to become, we want to do, we want to achieve. If we are dwelling with God then our desires should line up with His will for us. If there is any mix up, the Spirit will let us know and guide us. Sometimes closing a door and opening a window. When we see how He moves on our behalf, it strengthens us, our faith and our walk with Him. When things don't work out the way we planned, let us be encouraged that He is concerned with those things that have to do with us and will never ever forsake us.
Now, to me there are two types of goals when I am trying to nurture the woman that I am. There are those things I want to do to reach a bigger picture goal. For instance, I want to be physically fit so I should exercise. I can see my new body in my mind and I do believe that aligns with Gods will for my life. Do I love to work out? Not really. I don't hate it either. I enjoy walking and stretching, and if shopping counts for cardio, I'm in! But still I do want the results, and there is no way to get those results if I don't put in the work. I am now exploring different ways to work on my body because I believe if I enjoy the exercise, well, then I'll do it. There are things that some people feel like: if I could just learn to do that or be that way then I will be happier. I say, go for it. If being a good cook will add to your self-esteem, go for it! If there is an attribute, a skill that you would like to attain because you think it is going to contribute to the person you see in your minds eye, go for it! The more challenging it is, the more fulfilling it just may be. Remember, be easy on yourself and practice that what you want to become.
Then there are the things that I just love to do! Pure enjoyment. The challenge with this one is that as moms, as wives, sometimes we feel like: how can I be doing this right now? I don't have time for this. Yes you do! The more I abide with God, the more I am humbled and happy to serve my family, then when the time comes for me to water my self, I do it guilt free because I've done my very best for my family. Why wouldn't it be okay for me to spend time with myself? This is all new for me. I have been giving and giving to come to a point of exhaustion. Now because of spending time with God and nurturing myself I do more and stress less. And it's all guilt free.
If I am alive, I will be able to comfort, encourage, and do my husband good every single day; that does not mean there won't be challenges (but that's another topic). If I am sad, depressed, stressed, unfulfilled, my husband will not be happy with me. Though it may still be my duty to be all those things for him, I will do them bitterly and possibly become resentful. Oh but God!!! He is a life changer!! Nothing or no one can ever take His place! Let us seek Him to come to a new place with ourselves and be the wives we are meant to be. Doing our husbands good, blessing them, and cheering them on.
Join me next time while I explore practical ways to Not change our husbands (because that can't be done), but to change the way they respond to us.
Comfort and Encouragement Always.....
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